Friday, February 20, 2015

Totally Pointless: Top Six Outfits That Are Impractical For Battle


We love video games. I love fighting games, but sometimes I always wondered to myself: would the outfits that most female fighters wear stand up in a real fight? Answer: Nope! 

Okay, given that these games are made by game designers who ignore the laws of physics, and mostly give them clothes that magically transfixed to their bodies like glue when they should have been destroyed. So here's a list of six female characters whose outfits have the biggest chance of getting ripped off.

To be clear, this list isn't definitive. Plus, these are characters from games I played and I going to keep it one per franchise.


6. Christie Monteiro, Tekken series, Namco 
This outfit doesn't scream 'I'm ready for street fight', it's saying 'Carnival!'  
Okay Christie is one of my favorite characters from the Tekken games, next to Ling Xiaoyu and the Laws, Forrest and Marshall, and Eddy Gordo. 


Outfit in Question: Let go with the outfit from Tekken 5 and 6, as since she's wearing a sling top and pants with slits down the thighs.


Chance of Nudity:4.5/Full Frontal or topless actions, nip slip, thong action










Maybe a chance of breasts and maybe some thong action assuming she's wearing underwear to begin with that outfit. If not she's also at risk of total exposure. Since I can't tell for sure lets just say 50/50. besides being from Brazil, she wouldn't mind getting naked.

5. Blaze Fielding, Street of Rage/ Bare Knuckles series, Sega
Hey Blaze, are you protecting the streets or walking them?!

Now I'm going to cheat a bit since Streets of Rage is a beat' em up and not a Fighting game. Blaze is an ex-cop and expert in judo. An ex-cop that seems to be less concerned with the fact that she looks like a carryover from the 80's in first Streets of Rage game wearing a Beat It jacket, head band, mini skirt, and boots. Of course that being...

Outfit in Question: By Streets of Rage 2, she is now wearing a strapless top, boots, the mini skirt and, boots is the only carry over. Looking less like some one who looking for vigilante justice and more like a lady of the night.

Chance of Nudity: 3/Topless action, up skirt, nip slip   

She is definitely going to show boobs as she's wearing strapless tops. Which has a chance of sliding down and her skirt may ride upward and expose her panties



4.Sophitia Alexandra, Soul Edge/Soul Calibur Series, Namco
 
I could have gone with Tira or Seong Mi-Na with there serious case of under boobs or Ivy with her outfits which seem to get crazier with every game, they get more and more outrageous. I'm going to talk about Sophitia instead. As the outfit in question leaves very little to the imagination.
http://www.fightersgeneration.com/characters3/sophitia-sc4-art.jpg
Toga! Toga! Toga!


Outfit in Question: That Toga mini skirt that she sports in Soul Calibur IV

Chance of Nudity: 4.5/see-through and topless action

Seriously, that's a white outfit. When wet its going to get sheer and judging by the fact she isn't wearing any support of any kind, so there going to be nipples and it will get ripped to shreds.  Leaving her partially naked, again, like Christie, nudity isn't an issue with her since she's Greek. 


3. Mai Shiranui, Fatal Fury Series, SNK

http://www.fightersgeneration.com/characters2/mai-cv1.jpg
Even Taki from Soul Calibur would says you need to dial it back!


My experience with Mai Shuranui is very limited, since the only few times I played with this character was in the arcade. That was a very long time ago. The character is instantly recognizable to people who played the SNK fighter series Fatal Fury and King of Fighters.It may also be noted that she was the first female video game character to have umm.. 'bounce'. 
Maikofxiii


Outfit In Question: Well, everyone knows what I'm referring to. The red kunoichi outfit (if you call it that) she's famous for, that she's been sporting through out every incarnation of Fatal Fury and King Fighters since. 

Chance of Nudity: 4/topless action, nip slips, thong action

She going to show a lot of nipple with that outfit and it will get ripped to pieces. She'll be topless in no time, I know kunoichis are suppose to use sex as a weapon to distract their opponent, but Mai turns it up to 11.
      

2. Mileena, Mortal Kombat, Nether Realms  

Now I could have gone with her 'sister' Kitana or Jade, or Sheeva but since her outfit is just basically a sling bikini, and she's virtually a female version of Goro. So I went with Mileena instead. Why did I go with Ginsu Betty here? Apparently she's popular and is considered to be attractive according to some top ten lists despite her fugly appearance, being ten kinds of crazy, and the fact that she's Kitana's defective clone.


Outfit In Question: lets go with the one from MK9, I know all her outfits all have a chance of getting destroyed in battle. So I'll just go with the one from the reboot. 

http://www.fightersgeneration.com/np6/char2/mileena-mk9.jpg
She's a Butter Face, everything look good on her, but her face!

Chance of Nudity: 5/Full Frontal

Seriously her outfit would be destroyed, you'll see the whole nine yards of Mileena. Including losing the veil, hope you like piranha face.


1. Tyris Flare, Golden Axe Series, Sega 

Again cheating here as Tyris is also from a Beat Em Up, I put her on this list because she has a few fans and she has a outfit that wouldn't stand a chance in a fight. Considering that Golden Axe is based on the Sword and Sorcery flicks of the 80's along with other arcade game as well. Where the era were full of naked ladies(i.e. see Sword and the Sorceress, Barbarian Queen, just name a few.)


Outfit in Question: Seriously, its just a bikini, You know the one from Golden Axe.     
80's fantasy babe!
  
Chance of Nudity: 5/Full Frontal

Anyway Tyris' outfit would get ripped off fighting the hordes of Death Adder leaving her nude and defenseless. That's what you get when decide to wear a bikini instead of full body armor.










Source: Mileena, Christie Monteiro, Sophetia, Mai Shiranui: The Fighters Generation; Tyris Flare: Giant Bomb; Blaze Fielding: Google.com
            

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Wednesday Randomness: Mash-Ups

Like Chocolate and Peanut butter, two great taste that go together...




This is from James Farr, who also did this really cool Doctor Who and Back To The Future Mash up too!






This the second BTTF mash-up in a year or so, the first being the one where it was mashed up with Zelda, which can be found it the achieve of this blog. Check that one out too!

Friday, February 08, 2013

Friday Randomness: Nostalgia Critic

Since I'm getting back in to this blog, I'm going to posting random stuff like this from time to time. So first up is the Nostalgia Critic. Doug Walker's most popular character has returned, after it replacement Demo Reel was met with some harsh criticism. At first Boldly Flee was suppose to be the Critic's last as gave himself to the plot hole in That Guy With the Glasses' anniversary movie. Here's a link the first part of  To Boldly Flee , here.


So a  recon later....





The Nostalgia Critic is back, with The Odd Life of Timothy Green!


Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Wow, I Haven't Post In Awhile!



Hi everyone, sorry for the long absents, first of all I know it been a full year since my last post. I got a bit lazy and for some reason didn't want to do it this anymore, but after one of my old classmate, she talked me outta killing the blog. So thank her for that. Anyway, this isn't a official since I missed the whole year. So for today, I'm just going to running what happen this pass year give my thought. Also I know it's 2013, so forgive me, better late then never.

 George Lucas says no more Star Wars, after selling it to Disney for 4 billion dollar!


George-Lucas-Star-Wars.jpg
Mr. Lucas will now focus on passion project that interest him.
Yep, the House of Mouse is now the proud owner of the Lucasfilms which includes Indiana Jones after Lucas announced back in February that he would no longer work on the franchise. Great news for fanboys who felt Lucas lost his way after the debacle that was the prequels. So far amid wild speculation and rumors, a new writers were announced, but no new director as of yet. Expect Star Wars Episode VII out in 2015.

This a great, I felt the prequels were boring when Lucas was writing and directing it, now that the franchise is out of  Lucas' hands maybe we can get back what the original trilogy fun and exciting and since we're the subject can we please get the original trilogy on Blu-Ray, with Han shooting first?

[Update: Since I started writing this back around Christmas, when this was suppose to go out, J.J. Abrams was announced as director, making this one degree of separation to Star Trek, speaking of which is coming  out on May 17. As I'm a fan of both Star Wars and Trek it will be interesting to see how Abrams will do with the franchise as he did an amazing job on Star Trek and can't wait to see the sequel In To The Darkness. Hopefully with no lens flares, which was overkill. Here a trailer for Star Trek: In The Darkness, just case don't know what Mr. Abrams would bring to the table.]



G4 no more!

Back in October, it was announced that G4TV was canceling there long running shows Attack of the Show and X-Play and the network will be re-banding itself as the Esquire Channel in early 2013. Earlier back in April, Adam Sessler left the network after 14 years with Kevin Pereria fallowing a month later (Mmm, something was a foot at G4TV and it wasn't good.)

I wasn't too happy when they got dropped from DirecTV back in 2010, but G4 became less valued in the years that it was on the air, no thanks to the fact that it was become more or less the Cops and Cheaters channel even though they did had some good show in the beginning and some anime, but as the years went on they kept changing it up until they were so far removed from what it was, which was gaming, tech, and internet culture.

I will missed X-Play, the most as that was the show. I will miss Morgan Webb and Blair Herder as they tried to continue on without Adam Sessler as I mention earlier on had left the show. X-Play was the one show where I got most if not all the game that sit proudly on my self at this moment was because of the show.

2002-2013
AOTS I will probably miss the least since Kevin Pereria left, the show felt flat and lifeless, but kept watching for... I don't know why I kept watching, maybe out of obligation or that it came on after X-Play? Either way I still watched it. Even after the rise of the YouTube and sites like ScrewAttack.com. So whatever the case, behind the scenes drama, broadcasting rights, whatever.

For me I will miss there coverage of E3, PAX, and Comic Con. As we are an internet culture that can not get own information at click of a button, but the writing was on the wall for them. X-Play will have on my show and they promise they are going out with a bang. This network is also gave us Ninja Warrior, what will become the show now that G4 changing it's format? G4TV despite all your haters, you will be missed.  


Also good news for anyone that is a fans of Adam Sessler as he found a new home at Revision 3. Check out this video of his first day.




The Avengers made over 300 Billion worldwide!


I KNOW RIGHT!!! Making more than over 300 billion dollar worldwide for a franchise that was five years in the making is very impressive.  The film was amazing and can wait for the sequel, each character got to shine, the ending was funny (the second one, which is a call back to what Ironman say about wanting earlier on.) Also I went to see the Dark Knight Rises and it was also quite amazing. Speak of amazing, I finally saw Amazing Spider-Man on Blu-Ray not too long ago, it wasn't as too bad and it might have improved a bit over the 2002 version. I will admit, it would have been nice to see Spidey crossover with other superheroes in the Marvel movie universe, but as for legal reason (or Sony flat out rebooting it to keep the movie right a bit longer, jerks!) Ted wasn't a bad movie, it just seem to come out no where as it was funniest movie of the summer (probably because Paramount pushed back the release of GI Joe Retaliation to March 29th of this year, so they could covert it to 3-D.)

In that time span after the film's success, it was announced that Warner Bros. would also be releasing the Justice League movie in 2015 about the same time as the Avengers sequel is coming out. How is this going to work? It took Marvel five movie to set it up, and now the WB wants to put out the Justice League movie when the only superheroes they bank on is Superman and Batman (well Batman more then Superman.) Don't get me wrong, I'm fan of the Marvel U. though, but I always had a soft spot for the DCU superheroes as well.

We all seen the Catwoman movie, it sucked. Jonah Hex (though to be fair I didn't see it because of a review of it I saw of it,) it sucked and the Green Lantern movie, well... You know, it sucked hard! Time will tell if the Warner Bros. can pull off this? Only time will tell.


I Still Haven't Beaten Skyrim!!

I haven't beaten Skyrim or Fallout: New Vegas, I been lazy I will revisit in the future, but I have played and beaten Batman: Arkham Asylum and City back to back, the one thing that was hard for me at first was Riddle Trophies in Batman: Arkham City, after I figure them out (with the help of the internet.)

I also found two interesting video games on Xbox Live, Cthulu Saves The World and Breath Of Death VII: The Beginning, both game are throw backs two RPGs of the 8 and 16 bit era with tons references video games, which I love.

So that all I can muster for the moment sorry for the year long absents, I just got away from it and hope to post more in the future.

Nerdy Will